Return to Heartache

As you all are aware by now my brother passed away last February and fishing hasn’t been the same since but I have been slowly recovering from that devastation and fishing has been a large part of that recovery. While I continued to fish with my nephew and my daughter and have had a decent season culminating with my daughter landing her personal best, a 6lb largemouth bass my writing about our fishing excursions have taken a back seat because my heart wasn’t in the writing. Yesterday, I was able to go ice fishing with my nephew for the first time in a couple of years and we had a wonderful time catching fish through the ice.

It was my intention to return to my writing and share that fishing day with you, but then my world collapsed. I received a call last night that my mother who was in the hospital took a grave turn and my family and I rushed to be by her side. Sadly, we said goodbye to my beautiful mother today as we sat with her through her final moments and the return of devastating tears filled our eyes.

My mother loved the outdoors and her family more than anything in this world, every Wednesday she and I would get together and go for a car ride, sometimes to get an ice cream, sometime a slice of pizza and sometimes just for the enjoyment of the ride. Always though we got together just so that we could be together and talk about life. Through these talks I came to understand how strong my mother was. My mother had some health issues, but she never let them keep her from doing things she loved to do. She loved attending the barbecues we had and the family get togethers at Christmas because it was at those times the family was together surrounding her, and it was at those times she felt the presence of my dad.

My mother missed him very much when he passed in 2012 and she would always talk about pop when we went on our weekly car rides. Now at last she can be with him once more and though I can be happy with that thought, I can’t help but once again feel adrift.

My heart has shattered and I am lost.

Please, say a prayer tonight for my mom. Hug your loved ones and tell them what is in your heart. I’ve no doubts my mom knew how loved she was as we took every opportunity to make sure she knew, but that knowledge is no comfort to the pain we feel at her passing. God bless you my beautiful mother. I know that pop, Lorren and Elissa have welcomed you with open arms.

I love you mom and I will miss you.